“But Dad, I need (insert anything a child may want), it!”
“You don’t need it, you want it,” Mom’s response coming out of my mouth.
But here I am, right after Christmas, wanting, no, desperately needing something new. An iphone, or at least a new ipod and a new phone. Do I need either? Nope. I’ve never liked my phone, but it does what I need it to do. My ipod is ancient; I got it when my name was still Julie, (I started going by Jay in 2006). You know what? It still works. I may be tired of all the music on it, but if I push the triangle button, music comes out.
Why this need? I learned years ago, that when I start to get the itch to buy stuff, something is not right in my head. I’m the same way about cleaning. If I’m on a cleaning rampage, Adrienne will ask, “Baby, is something wrong?”
So what is it? Could be lots of things. 2 weeks before my latest surgery, Adrienne’s Mom moved in with us. I had lung surgery, then the holiday’s. Adrienne’s brother and his 2 kids stayed at our house for 12 days. I start 6 weeks of 5x a week radiation on Tuesday. I have a cold. The surgery site on my chest still hurts. I can’t seem to write. (This is beginning to sound like my journal…)
A friend of mine has a great way of stopping herself from buying things. She says to herself, “Everything I need is right here”. And you know what, it’s usually true. I have a warm fire, a charged computer, food in the fridge, a wife that I’m crazy about (and she about me), 3 excellent kids, tons of books to read, a basket of yarn to practice knitting with, a phone that texts, stacks of records, a new can of Skoal, The X-Files on Netflix, and a cozy bed. I may not know what is wrong with my head, but I really don’t need a thing.
Marsha Marsha
January 5, 2013 at 6:09 pm
So glad, Jay, before the day ended you realized you have everything you need. It’s human nature to want more. I have learned to be content in whatever state I’m in and that’s not California, Oregon, Missouri, Florida or any other you can name. Stay positive it’s good for the soul.
Naptimewriting
January 5, 2013 at 8:46 pm
Oh, boy, do I know what you mean about wanting when things are unsettled. I’m not as highly evolved as you, so I spend my way to feeling new instead of doing the hard work on finding the unaddressed need and meeting it. I’m also a sucker for cleaning to respond to stress and for (my poor husband) rearranging furniture throughout the house to calm the tornadoes in my mind.
It all works pretty well. Not as well as a notebook, pen, honesty, and some guided questions about priorities and desire. But still.
Hope you figure out the demons bestirring you. I know for a fact you’re stronger than they are, so call them on the carpet and dispense with them.
jaydeyoung
January 7, 2013 at 6:58 pm
My mom was a mad furniture mover. I never considered why. Our furniture is too heavy, or I might think about it.
Loved your post about resolutions. I think I’m just having the winter blahs. And tomorrow I go back to radiation for 6 weeks.
Hope all is well with you.
Naptimewriting
January 7, 2013 at 8:37 pm
May the techs be hilarious, the burns be few, the immunity-boosting cream helpful, and the cancer a distant memory for the rest of your long life.
xoxox