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“Thank You” doesn’t feel like enough

16 Jan

Yesterday, I wrote an angry post.  I’ll put it up tomorrow; today is not an angry day.   I woke up at 11:30 to an icy Coke, a kiss from Adrienne and an inbox full of amazing messages.  And to top it off, lots of profile pictures on facebook had been changed to a picture of me.  I feel like a rock star!  A delivery of Methadone came this morning, so I skipped the addicted to heroin rock star part and went straight to Methadone.

How to say, “Thank you?”  I don’t think I can express it through words.  Thanking all of you for your love and support doesn’t seem like nearly enough.

Remember in my last post when I talked about losing interest in activities?  One thing I haven’t lost, but in fact, gained interest in is writing.  In looking back over my life, I believed that my kids were the amazing thing that I had left this world.  My ex and I always said our main parenting goal was to not unleash any more assholes onto the planet.  Funny, but it’s so much more than that.  My children have big hearts.  They are open and giving.  I couldn’t be more proud of them.

But now, there is this blog.  Which has become something amazing.  I always wanted to be a writer; and now I am.  I write something that is meaningful to people; even people I don’t know! Makes me feel very humble and grateful.

So, the writing will continue as long as I can produce the words.  I am going to change it a bit.  If you see a post titled with a date, that will be more of a journal entry.  There are a few reasons for that.  First, for those of you who want to know how I am doing, those posts will tell you that.  Second, I am so interested in the process that my body and mind are going through, I’d like to be able to go back and see my progress, (funny thing to call it).  And lastly, as a document my kids can read later, and if my book ever gets published, those little notes may be helpful.

If you see a post with a title, that is an essay on a specific topic.  There are still lots of them floating around in my head.  That’s were I do all of my writing.  I sit in the tub, or lie in bed and write in my brain.  When I feel the article is finished, I type it up and post it.

I feel very honored.  In the waning days of my life, I get to continue to be a parent and a writer.

Thanks for reading,

Jay

brs

 
3 Comments

Posted by on January 16, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , ,

3 responses to ““Thank You” doesn’t feel like enough

  1. Autumn

    January 16, 2014 at 3:47 pm

    You are a wonderful parent and writer. Your kids will be so grateful to have this documentation and I can’t tell you how grateful I am to work with your kids. They are thoughtful, creative, mature, silly, and all-around great — you definitely are not unleashing more assholes :-) Sending Kesem love to all of you.

     
  2. Connie

    January 17, 2014 at 7:37 am

    You should feel like a Rock Star because you are one!!! I am so glad you have enjoyed your writing in this difficult time. I believe part of your legacy will be this blog and your writings. Having been through the death of too many people in my life, especially my dad.s, I can say your writing has a healing touch that helps more than I can express in words! I wish I had had your words of wisdom when my dad had first became sick. I believe you will make a difference for so many that struggle on both sides of this journey. You are amazing and have given so much just by sharing!! And post the angry writings as we’ll -‘they are part of the journey and a part of you! Anger is an emotion that is very understandable and something we all are feeling! Love you!!

     
  3. missmelblack

    February 18, 2014 at 12:41 am

    LOVE this quote..
    “A delivery of Methadone came this morning, so I skipped the addicted to heroin rock star part and went straight to Methadone”

    Awesome.

     

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