03 Jan

As an adult, New Years Eve has always been one of my favorite holidays.  It is also my least favorite day for going out.  Too many years of building it up to be an amazing night, only to find it lacking.  I’d rather stay home or have friends over.

That’s what we did this year.  We ate homemade pizza made by our friend, Stan. We watched some Dr. Who, everyone’s favorite show. Then at nine, (New York new year), we all poured something to drink and at about 5 minutes after nine, toasted the new year.

Around the time I stopped trying to make December 31st an unforgettable night, I gave up New Years resolutions.

Lose weight, eat better, exercise more, spend more time with family, read the Book of Mormon; and on and on.  By January’s end, my fragile self-esteem would be in danger of collapse.  So when I was around twenty-five, I decided there was only one resolution to make: Try to live with no regrets.  And it has worked.  I look back on my life and I have very few regrets.  There was that girl I didn’t kiss…

As the end of the year drew closer, I started thinking about resolutions again. Our toast to 2014 wasn’t a happy one.  It is going to be a hard, sad year.  It is the year I will die.  So why resolutions now, at the end of my life? Well, for one, there are things I can do that will make me feel more alive.  And two,  I won’t have to keep them the whole year.  So here they are:

1. Get dressed every morning, even if the morning is at 2pm.  There is something not right if I am getting ready for bed and realize I are still in the same clothes I woke up in.   Getting dressed means all clean clothes and pants that don’t have elastic waistbands.  The family sees me dressed and up being normal.  I’m also much more likely to leave the house.  A good resolution.

2. Shave more often.  When I first started on testosterone, I couldn’t wait to have facial hair.  Think of the designs!  The sideburns; short or long? Full beard?  Goatee?  The possibilities were endless!  Then the reality set in.  Shaving is a pain.  And, I’ve pretty much worn long sideburns and a circle beard the whole time.  But it’s a lot like getting dressed. So the blade and I will meet every other day.

3. The same as always,try to live with no regrets.

Pretty good, eh?  I know as the weeks go by, all of them will become more difficult, but I’ll do them as long as my body will let me.

So the start of the new year was sad, but just a few minutes ago, (when I was in the tub, of course), I decided that I would try not to think of the sadness and the things and people who will be left behind this year.  Instead, I would think about the experiences and time I still have.  Next week, Adrienne and I are going on a romantic getaway.  My brother is coming to visit!  And then later on in the week, my sister is coming.  There are conversations to be had, long baths to take, medication to help with the pain, amazing pot cookies, Dr. Who to watch, but most of all, there is still time for love to be shared.

1 Comment

Posted by on January 3, 2014 in Uncategorized


Tags: , ,

One response to “2014

  1. Autumn

    January 3, 2014 at 6:42 pm

    Happy New Year to you and your family, Jay. Thanks for continuing to write and share so beautifully. The picture you posted on Facebook of Quinn fast asleep with a book absolutely made my week. Sending lots of Camp Kesem love and magic to all of you.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: